Another sold out show! When Dr Debbie Challis, the Portico Library’s Creative Producer, and
I sat down in November 2025 to plan a fundraiser for the library’s ‘Reunited’ project, we
could not have imagined what a great night The Prose of Mycock would be!
The show sought to reflect on the recurrence and remarkable flexibility of the ‘cock’ (phallic
not fowl) across English literature – from medieval metaphor to modern innuendo. 
 
We brought together a wonderful roster of guest readers to unpack the ‘cock’ in comic,
poetic, and more serious writing. Our readers included actor Arthur Bostrum, star of sitcom
Allo’ Allo’ and expert on the subject of double entendre, writer and singer Rosie Garland, and
actor and expert on banned books, Neil Pearson. 
 
The evening began with a brief lecture by yours truly on the role and resonance of the
phallus in literature through the ages. I was keen to note that size had mattered through the
ages, but in ways which changed over time. While the Ancient Greeks associated a small
member with great intelligence, for the Romans size mattered – see Monty Python’s Biggus
Dickus for details! Shakespeare’s opus was littered with phallic references, as 
 
With warmth and wit, each of our guest readers drew on readings from the bookshelves of
the Portico Library and their own magnificently eclectic selections which ranged from Roman
poet Catullus’s Poem 105 – A Prick named Dick; the comic play, Lysistrata; Henry
Millar’s Tropic of Cancer; Robert Burn’s poem, Cock up your beaver; James Joyce’s
Ulysses, and a selection of greatest ‘hits’ involving Samantha from I’m Sorry I Haven’t a
Clue. 
 
Debbie provided some suitably enlightening moments that drew on her academic expertise,
providing readings by Aristophanes, the Ancient Greek comic playwright, who she described
as ‘the greatest writer of the cock’. Rosie Garland also brought a musical note to
proceedings, with a wonderful rendition of music hall singer and comedian, Marie Hall’s ‘'She
sits amongst the cabbages and peas'. The evening was brought to a suitably close by Arthur
who delivered a moving rendition of the footballer Ryan Gigg’s poem, ‘Totem Pole’.
It was a wonderful evening of smut and, most importantly, raised a small contribution to the
Portico’s ‘Reunited’ funds. This included a ‘Cock Raffle’ with lots of phallic prizes, including a
highly sought after Delft ‘cock saltshaker’. As you can see, the winners were delighted with
their new addition to the kitchen!
We all had such fun that plans to do another Prose of Mycock show are already in motion.
Look out for details of a show in Chorlton, Manchester in collaboration with my dear friends
at Chorlton Bookshop later this year!

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